I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Randomize
