I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
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