he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
