69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
it's great music for shaving your balls
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
