Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
