I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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