i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
