Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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