i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
That accounts for only three of the penises
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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