I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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