After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
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