They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
