I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize
