Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize