i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
