is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
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