Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Randomize
