i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
