I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
