and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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