Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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