roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Randomize
