Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
