True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
I cut my penus on the lid.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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