You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Randomize
