I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
