True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
This gyro tastes like lonliness
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
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