It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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