ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I think your dad took our porno
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize