you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize
