I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
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