So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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