and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
