I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
