If i come over, it means nothing
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Randomize
