Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Randomize
