Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
how do flat chested girls get laid?
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
