Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
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