I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
foreskin is a definite game changer
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Randomize
