A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
You may now shotgun with the bride
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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