No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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