Midget sex pt 2 tonight
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
