dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
She told me I should be a condom model.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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