So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
