is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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