yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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