I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Alive.
So much puke
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
