Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
