when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
