Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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