I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Randomize
