Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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