She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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