I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Randomize
