I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Randomize
