There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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