just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Terrible idea I love it
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize
