Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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