The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
