dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Someone shattered a urinal.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
