seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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