you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize