my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
