The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
