Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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