just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
