problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
